Lies... Why is it so fucking easy to lie to me? Or tell me parts of the story, isn't that a lie in its own way? When you are in a relationship with someone and you are committed to one another in some way... shouldn't there be an expectation of full disclosure? I just don't understand. Now that I think of it, there is very little about my life that I do understand these days. Am I going insane? I really feel like I am losing my mother fucking mind. Absolutely nothing seems to make sense anymore as soon as I feel a little progress just a positive step or two this big almost cartoon like caveman club comes out of nowhere and POW!! Backwards tumble. The voices in my head say that I should just check the box and move on with my life but I can't do it. I don't have the means and where would I go really? I don't enjoy feeling this way. I hate that I can't find trust I hate that I sit here, so far away wondering why you lie and give me parts of the story. Why can't you just be straight with me tell me the truth. The new Reba McEntire song just says it all. Every time I try to turn the conversation to something deeper you end up all but shutting down. If I'm not the one thing you can't stand to lose, if I'm not that arrow to the heart of you then I guess we're through.