There are places I remember all my life...

Though some have changed,
Some forever not for better
Some have gone and some remain

All these places had their moments
With lovers and friends
I still can recall
Some are dead and some are living
In my life I've loved them all

I love the Beatles, I think that I always have. The bit above is from my favorite song, In My Life which happens to be a Beatles song. It is a love song of sorts, tells about someone who has great memories but of all things, places, and people in their life they love the object of the song the most. My memory is faulty, sketchy, stinky, whatever word or phrase you like. I have odd patches of memory then huge chunks of things that I don't remember. I remember a few things vividly, some things are clouded and a lot of things I just can't remember at all, very frustrating. It is a new problem, I used to have a very sharp memory. Troubling. I guess memories are in my mind today because today 15 Dec 2009 should have been my 19th wedding anniversary but I am divorced. Was it a good thing, in a lot of ways yes and in some ways well....I won't say it was a bad thing but the changes in my life (pun) that were brought about by it were less than pleasant. typical right. The pros: I got to move to Hawaii in a round about way as a product of the divorce, I don't have to live in Texas any more, I don't have to live with the person I was once married to for all the reasons that I did not wish to remain married to him. Cons: I moved to Hawaii... (hmm), I miss my kids, I no longer have a car, I no longer have my beautiful house to live in, I no longer have the support of his wonderful family, that feeling of failure that often accompanies a divorce decree, I gave up a huge amount of income...

So what to do with the date that will always be in your memory as the day you once upon a time got married? It isn't a happy day at all but not 100% sad either. Do you mark the occasion somehow or let it quietly slip past? Will it not hurt to see that date pop up on the calendar at some point in the future?

Memory is a funny thing and I wonder often how my memory will treat my current life. I wonder these days how much I will actually remember, hopefully only the good stuff will make the cut :)