WTF

Okay here is the question of the day, ready? Here goes? When will the fucked up stop?

Journaling

I have thought a thousand times about keeping a jounal, trying to write down the crap that clouds my mind. I have bought countless little books of paper, well some not so little, with great aspirations to write every day. I rarely follow through. So now I have found an electronic medium to do the same thing, look back over the posts and you will see that the digital attempts at journaling have been as successful as the paper ones. There are lots of proponents out there for journaling, they say it keeps the mind clear. Oprah used to tout keeping a gratitude journal and writing down something every day that you are grateful for, others recommend a prayer journal, a diet and/or excercise journal, pain journals and all sorts of others with themes. Me I just want to write the things that are in my head. Sometimes I am upset, pissed off to be more correct, sometimes I am hurt, overwhelmed, confused, sad, whatever...you get it. I don't know if anyone else will read any of this or even care that I write it. If anyone does I welcome feedback as long as it isn't all you need is prayer, excercise, fresh air etc.... Why don't you come home Bill Bailey? I know I need a relationship with God, I know I need to lose weight, these are truths....

So todays thoughts... I am thinking about honesty today, as I often do. I have been guilty of being less than honest with others, I don't think it is possible to be 100% honest all the time. What a beautiful baby....no newborn babies are beautiful...at least not the first couple days. That is a great blouse on you... Yes that 5th grade play was the BEST piece of theater ever put on the stage... I hardly noticed the incessant pounding on the wall of you hanging every ppicture ever painted on the wall that seperates our apartments... yea, no one. But the big stuff is what I am talking about. Have I ever lied about anything big? yes I can admit that, I won't cite examples but I'm sure I have along the road. Doesn't make it ok. If someone asks you point blank about something, they already know the answer. If they didn't how would they know to ask the question to begin with? So what to do in the face of dishonesty is the question. If you know someone has lied to you do you confront them and risk the consequences or try to live with the knowledge of the lie? The lie is eating me inside but the consequences are steep and what if there is more denial? The delete button is an essential piece of equipment.