Do you know the Miranda Lambert song, "The House That Built Me"? I have loved the song since I heard it the very first time. More often than not it makes me tear up when I hear it. I wish I could go home. I wish I could get on a plane and run home to a family that loves me and will hold me and tell me that everything that is gong wrong will be ok and that even if it isn't they will always be there to catch me and love me. That is simply not the case. Isn't family supposed to be there to love you without being told that you need it, or do I have that wrong? I have long said that my friends were the family I chose and in most cases I chose very well because I truly do have some of the absolute best friends anyone could ever stumble on. I am very grateful for the people that are in my life but they don't fill that hole.

well alrighty then...

We all have that person in our life, or in some cases, those people. They know more than we do and want to make sure we are aware of that fact. Further more their opinion is more important than yours, their ideas are better, and their viewpoints a more substantial than yours. I have a couple of these in my life, some are more easily ignored than others. How do you get around feeling like you are the most insignificant person with silly ideas around these people?
For me I just avoid saying anything that makes me sound like I'm trying to have an intelligent thought in my head since it's clear I don't. I have been watching the series Mad Men lately. I had never watched it before. In some ways it would be nice to be one of those late 50's housewife to a powerful man. No brain required, it's ok if you have one as long as you don't try too hard to use it when he's around. Let him make all the decisions and all the money. If time travel ever really happens...

and now...... my blog

How's that for a wind up? I really super suck at writing here. Will I ever get better at remembering it? why do I doubt it. I was never a girl who kept a diary and isn't a blog the same thing, just typed up online? Besides, I just don't really have anything that interesting to say. I have used this thing as kind of my personal forum to vent my frustrations about stuff or just to comment on moments in life, is that what a personal blog is for? Well guess what? That is what this one will be. So stick around, read it and comment if you want. I appreciate the input. Be nice.

So today's blog.... hmmmm A friend of mine posted on Facebook recently that it seems as though as soon as life starts looking up you round a corner and slam into a brick wall. How true that is. I had a conversation to that same affect recently with someone else. Life is like a pendulum, always swinging between extremes. The trick is feeling neutral and balanced, even when you aren't. I am not in a good place these days but I'm doing ok. I have people in my life who love me and I am healthy and safe. Somedays it's work just to get out of bed, today was one of those, but other days its fine. I am learning to take the good and the bad and there I have the Facts of Life.