Birthdays and Mother's Day

My birthday and Mother's Day have always been connected in my head because of their typical proximity on the calendar. As I got older I thought it was interesting that the day chosen as the day to honor mothers was so close to the day that mine became one. As I had my own children Mother's Day would over shadow my birthday as the girls usually did something cute and sweet in their own little girl ways to mark the day. I think as you get older birthdays naturally lose their significance, I mean who wants to make a big deal out of getting older? That is until you reach that point where you are celebrating still being around, say 80 or so. My birthday though inevitably brings me to thoughts of my own mother. Those who know me well know that relationship was always strained and really crumbled in the fall of 1988. I am not going to tell that full story here but things went a bit, shall we say, upside down. I am going to sound a bit like a child I know but I think that your mother has an obligation to make at least a minor fuss over your birthday. A phone call perhaps, or an email, maybe an actual paper card sent in the mail or at the absolute minimum a text message. Some little scrap of communication that says yeah I remember this is the day you were born. To not get that, to get nothing that would pass as recognition of that one day of the year just hurt. It felt like it doesn't matter to her that I was born at all. I am her only girl child which made it that much worse. Am I whining, maybe...probably. So here's the question how wrong is it that I feel no affinity to her as a mother anymore? I have no desire to honor heron Sunday as my mother. I don't want to take a moment to thank her for having me, raising me and keeping me safe until adulthood. I mean, my birth obviously has become insignificant in her memory so why bring up all the years she wasted on me?